I do it, and I do it big. Here's to not forgetting about it.

Posts tagged ‘Working Out’

Y’all make me sick! Put it back in your tri shorts, I beg you

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This isn’t true! At least, of me. For one, I’ve been known to post a race or workout related status or two, tee hee. Moreover, when my friends are doing things they enjoy, why wouldn’t I want to read about it? Only a complete asshole someone who may be envious of one’s commitment to health and fitness would feel this way, right?

UNLESS.

Unless it becomes a bitch fest. Worse, a dick measuring contest. “No fair, my pace was slower than yours!” “Well, I may not have done THIS today, but I did THAT!” Oh, comment thread. You have a way of bringing out the worst in people. I’m not going to say that no one wants to read about that, but I know for damn sure I don’t.

“But Lady J,” you counter. “Aren’t you being a *tad* judgmental? You don’t know why s(he) posted those comments.” Of course I am! I judge all day. Real talk. Not in the “I am better than you are” way, but most definitely in the “I don’t want to be around that mess” way. We ALL do. Anyone who claims not to be judging in this sense is a liar and probably a hypocrite. But yes, dear reader, you are correct in saying that I cannot be sure why said comments were made. You’ve got to admit though, not all workout posts are alike. “I did really well today!” or even “Aw man that was pretty lame” reads very differently than “My pace was not as fast as this person’s” or “I could have done that but I was out doing THIS instead.”

How about we all put away our penises and rulers and just enjoy the growth that comes with pushing ourselves to be stronger and more fit?

Apparently, I’m a Total Bitch. Workout Edition

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Overheard at the gym:

(Spoken in most valley voice possible)
Chick: Oh. My. Gawd. This is, like, really hard. I can’t even, like, run a mile.

Now, as I work out, I’m pretty focused on what I’m doing. However, this chick’s voice KINDA grated on my ears. So I did what any normal woman would do. I checked her out.

Tiny waist. Big titties. Booty with personality. Long, flowing hair. Aside from her lack of running stamina, I know NOTHING about this woman. She could be very lovely. Or she could be as annoying as I found her voice to be. I don’t know, and honestly, that’s not really the point. But I am ashamed of what went through my head next.

“This heffa can’t even run a mile and she has that body? Lucky. BITCH.”

I have been blessed with many things. Not among my collection of blessings is the ability to not run a mile and still be hot. I’ve got to work hard as hell not to be a chocolate blob. Granted, everyone loves chocolate, but still. It feels like I can’t rest and there are people who walk this earth who can.

Of course, they can’t really. The “overweight” person who can run a mile is better off than the shapely, socially acceptably shaped person who cannot. What’s really scary is how pervasive these perceptions are – that it is better to be cute than healthy. They almost got me too, man. You really never know what someone is going through or has been through. This is my clarion call – do what you can to uplift those around you. Even the luckiest bitches.

So, to the chick at the gym – I am sorry I called you a bitch in my head! Keep coming and I’m sure you will be able to run that mile very soon! You will be better for it. Perhaps not as witty as I am, but hey, you can’t have everything.

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