I do it, and I do it big. Here's to not forgetting about it.

Posts tagged ‘Women’

Apparently, I’m a Total Bitch. Workout Edition

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Overheard at the gym:

(Spoken in most valley voice possible)
Chick: Oh. My. Gawd. This is, like, really hard. I can’t even, like, run a mile.

Now, as I work out, I’m pretty focused on what I’m doing. However, this chick’s voice KINDA grated on my ears. So I did what any normal woman would do. I checked her out.

Tiny waist. Big titties. Booty with personality. Long, flowing hair. Aside from her lack of running stamina, I know NOTHING about this woman. She could be very lovely. Or she could be as annoying as I found her voice to be. I don’t know, and honestly, that’s not really the point. But I am ashamed of what went through my head next.

“This heffa can’t even run a mile and she has that body? Lucky. BITCH.”

I have been blessed with many things. Not among my collection of blessings is the ability to not run a mile and still be hot. I’ve got to work hard as hell not to be a chocolate blob. Granted, everyone loves chocolate, but still. It feels like I can’t rest and there are people who walk this earth who can.

Of course, they can’t really. The “overweight” person who can run a mile is better off than the shapely, socially acceptably shaped person who cannot. What’s really scary is how pervasive these perceptions are – that it is better to be cute than healthy. They almost got me too, man. You really never know what someone is going through or has been through. This is my clarion call – do what you can to uplift those around you. Even the luckiest bitches.

So, to the chick at the gym – I am sorry I called you a bitch in my head! Keep coming and I’m sure you will be able to run that mile very soon! You will be better for it. Perhaps not as witty as I am, but hey, you can’t have everything.

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Holy Hormones, Batman: A Pattern Emerges

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So, remember when I had that meltdown earlier this month? Also, remember when I became morbidly obese? Sigh. The picture above is a screenshot of my sleep patterns for the last 3 months. Notice the big ass dips at the beginning of May and June in sleep quality.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY MONTH THAT THROWS MY BODY OFF.

I’ve…I’ve been a girl all my life, y’all. I’m a little ashamed that it’s taken me this me long to come to grips with the fact that my period is kind of a game changer. Not just in terms of how my body handles changes but how my brain handles those changes. Now, I need help figuring out what my body needs so that the changes don’t make me feel like my world is bloody collapsing in on me 25% of the time. That is an unacceptable drop in productivity.

I’ve lost 5 of the 10 pounds, by the way. I’m a crazy ass champ.

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