I do it, and I do it big. Here's to not forgetting about it.

Posts tagged ‘Triathlon’

Okay – The Honeymoon’s Over. 

The good old days.
2014, y’all.  PRs just seemed to drop from the freaking sky. I was cut and loving life, doing things I never had thought were possible. Maintaining weight loss. Running. Triathlon. Not dying doing any of those things. And then it happened. 
I grew.

Apparently, if you keep doing something, you don’t stay a beginner. This is where it gets tricky. I had anticipated my “fall from grace” in the year of my great accomplishment and wondered if I would enjoy racing anymore once it stopped being “easy.” I am thrilled – and relieved – to report that running and racing still make me very happy. Red Rocket and I are taking a break so I do not anticipate returning to triathlon in the near future, but it is NOT because I am scared of not accomplishing what I once did. I just don’t get enough pleasure for me to go through all the business at this present time. 

In 2015, the only races in which I achieved PRs were freebies – you know, a distance or event you’ve yet to do. Remember that time Adonis made me run a trail? Or that other time he made me climb over and crawl under stuff? That MUST mean the party is over, right? 

Don’t be silly. I am incredibly thankful that I have gotten some important lessons from racing that I have been able to apply to both my musical life (you don’t have to be the best to have a damned good time) and will apply to my married life (it’s not always going to be easy but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun). 

Thank God the honeymoon is over. I now have the privilege of discovering how to be at peace, regardless of my circumstances. I STILL get to run and learn what my best is, now without the fear of what happens when I “fail.” Been there, run that! 

  

Precious Medal, Precious Metal, and Precious Mettle

So, a lil girl did a big race last night. Interestingly enough, I was supposed to be by her side rather than blogging about her awesomeness. 

How do I feel about this? Glad you asked. I can’t say that I regret it; I spent the day at the museum with my besties and did some premarital homework with Adonis. However, I am left with some lingering questions. 

1. Could I have done it? 

Probably. Coachie or Blonde Oprah wouldn’t have endorsed my initial registration if I couldn’t. Like Coachie says, though – could and should are different. 

2. Does knowing I could have done it change anything? 

Not really. There are other things I want more right now. I feel like the full iron distance may be like a ph.d. for me – something I could attain but I need to be more sure that the payoff would be worth the investment. 

3. Do I sound like a hater right now? 

I hope not. I could not be more excited for FFF. You watch someone do something big, then you wonder what you could be doing. Told y’all she was a motivator. I just want to be sure I am maximizing my potential. 

4. Well, Joan. Are you maximizing your potential? 

I am not entirely sure. I don’t like how many races I’ve registered for and not done. FIVE. That’s a lot of money. I think I was trying to convince myself I wasn’t tired or that life wasn’t shifting. 

5. So you’re blaming Adonis? 

Not entirely. 🙂 I mean, I’ve not gotten as many medals this year, but wearing medals all the time isn’t as socially appropriate as wearing my engagement ring. Feels fair. Moreover, the injuries I’ve sustained had nothing to do with him; I may have had to bow out anyhow. 

6. So what’s next on your agenda? 

Well, I’ve GOT to run a half-marathon this year. Otherwise, why even, like, bother. I have to test myself and keep growing. Not racing is simply not acceptable. I do see myself returning to triathlon (shorter distances) in 2016, because I have too many questions about what my body is capable of. Plus, I like taking selfies by the pool at the gym. 

  

Triathlon and Error

I have a race on Saturday, but I’m not going. 

It’s not because I don’t think I would perform well enough, or because I don’t feel well, or even because I’m nursing my injuries. I simply don’t feel like doing it. This makes FOUR triathlons that I’ve registered to do and changed my mind. 

It’s not as though money is no object for me. Each time I’ve clicked submit, even just 3 weeks ago for this coming race, I was looking forward to racing and training. I’ve made it to the pool, spin class, and run regularly since – and enjoyed it. It just doesn’t feel exciting for me to be racing triathlon at the moment. 

I feel like I registered for this last one because somewhere in my mind I believe that the triathlon magnet I put on my car is going to spontaneously combust if I don’t race soon. I genuinely feel taunted by it when I see it, as though I should replace it with a running one because it seems to be more accurate at the given moment. 

What is REALLY stopping me? Not gonna lie; I really don’t like those shark reports I’ve been hearing. It WOULD be my luck to be excited to make my return to racing and then get my ass bitten. It’s more likely that it’s just my nerves. I really have no reason to expect that I wouldn’t be okay, but it just has been so long since I’ve gotten my feet wet. Heh. I didn’t want the monster to grow, and I still don’t, but I don’t see myself getting up at 4 AM to get to transition on time.

For now. 

This summer, I will have to tentatively sketch out the next year of my life. I really do not see myself NOT racing triathlon for another year. I suppose I underestimated the break I must need from it. Maybe (gulp) I need some people with whom I could race, even though I’ll be annoyed along the way. In fact, as soon as a certain person reads this post I know I’m going to hear it. “You should do x and y with me!” And perhaps I should. 

I really am unsure how I will know I’m really ready to dive back in (blast these accidental puns). Perhaps it is partial rebellion to having to schedule my life so far in advance. When racing was new, it happened that way because I couldn’t get enough of it. Could I handle a repeat of 2014, logistically speaking? Pretty sure that’s why I am at the chiropractor 3 times a week for now. I couldn’t. Now I must plan wisely in order to avoid injury, manage time well, and stay sane. 

I am sure I still have errors to make. Here is hoping that when my triathlon magnet blows up it doesn’t damage the paint. 

  

Who am I?

The Last 8 Months of My Life

By Lady J 

  1. Completed a Half-Ironman
  2. Signed up for a Full Ironman
  3. Met a Full Man
  4. Agreed to marry the Full Man
  5. Decided not to do the Full Ironman

I’ve also gone to work but that’s not really cogent here. 

I really am at peace with the decision not to race long distances for now, but something happened yesterday that I am not proud of. At. All. 

I couldn’t find my Garmin. 

I look at my engagement ring all the time and I smile, knowing how very different my life and outlook were just a short time ago. But – but…this. Not being able to find my triathlon watch may not be a mortal sin, but it’s definitely a venial one. My relationship with training is injured. Well – so am I, although I like to pretend that I am not. As I frantically looked for my watch, I realized that the last time I remembered running was at my last race two weeks prior. That’s freaking ridiculous. Yes, I have been making it to boot camp and eating fairly well (until a few days ago – it’s birthday season aaaaand PMS), but surely not training as I once did. While it is kind of nice working out no more than once a day, I should be uploading stats on training more than once a month. For serious. 

I even feel a little guilty for 2 of the last race reports! It’s like…it’s like I care about Adonis more than I do my watch. I did find it, by the way. It had just dropped from my nightstand and was between it and my bed. Though it may sound weird, I wasn’t only relieved because I didn’t lose a REALLY expensive watch. It means that I haven’t lost myself, which is something I’ve (perhaps irrationally) feared could happen if I got married. 

I am 100% happy that my life is 100% different. The transition is just scary sometimes. I am looking forward to learning how not to flip out when I have to adjust to new circumstances. I must admit I am not really looking forward to figuring out exactly how I’m going to do my next triathlon (holy crap it has been 8 months), but I will need some help. I’m not the greatest with balance or trust, qualities I’m pretty sure Mrs. Lady J will need to lean upon heavily. 

Here’s to not getting fat while making that happen. 

  
 

RARR: Regular Ass Run Review

I ran today.

I was supposed to ride, but my hand is bothering me and my massage therapist said that gripping my handlebars could aggravate my hand.

Because I’m a cold-weather p***y, I waited until the afternoon to run. 4:45 PM. A bit later than I intended, but pressing start on my Garmin made me feel proud. Sometimes I surprise myself most simply by getting started. The goal: 4 miles. Twice. A familiar loop I typically enjoy. I often am concerned with whether I will punk out after one loop, as I have before, but I convinced myself that I was a winner for starting and would cross that bridge when I see my car. Heh.

I turned on Tchaikovsky’s 1st piano concerto on my phone and started my warm up walk. I’ve taken to walking 1/10 of a mile and running 9/10 to help break up my long runs mentally. I groaned at first – I hadn’t run more than 6 miles in several weeks and it sure felt like a lot. Then the exposition of the concerto began to come to a climax and I started to get TURNTUP. I think I remembered why I like running. I felt strong for a moment or two, especially on the downhills. Heh.

The first 4 miles were fairly uneventful. I passed my car and grabbed a gel and some water and got on my way again. Then I couldn’t remember if I had locked my car. I started to walk back and realized I had to use the bathroom. The car was SO close to the bathroom, but I knew I would be pissed if I didn’t allow myself to see that I was capable of running 8 miles. I continued, tired though I felt.

By mile 7 my legs were starting to feel very heavy. The words of a spin class instructor still ring in my head. “You can do more than you think.” “Uh. I think I can get back to my car without having to call my mother.” I pressed on.

Takeaways:

1. I feel like a punk for needing so much gel, but I need more than one. I am averaging about a 12 minute mile pace for my long runs but I need the goods every 30 minutes or I start to feel tired after an hour. I wish I didn’t feel like gel should be reserved for real athletes, whatever the hell that means.

2. I’m gonna keep going. #WhoKnows2015

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#WhoKnows2015

Unless it’s breakfast related, it can be really difficult to get me excited about the future. Seriously, I’ve been known to go to bed early so I can partake of “the future” that much sooner. Heh. Anyhow, even this super blessed, had it super easy all her life girl knows that anything can happen. My health is not promised to me, the health of others isn’t promised to me – hell, tomorrow isn’t even promised to me. I thus find it difficult to proclaim that 2015 will be one way or another. I know that amazing things are possible, perhaps even likely, but nothing is guaranteed.

I therefore christen my hashtag of the year to be #WhoKnows2015. I have to do my best today because I don’t know about tomorrow. Not even breakfast. I’m thankful for a God that knows everything from the extremely delicious Fuji Apple I’m planning for tomorrow to what lays ahead for me personally and professionally. It is my hope and prayer that the quest toward the goals I’ve set for myself draw me closer to Him, as I’ve seen that it’s really easy to do the opposite, even when they are healthy goals.

Here’s to taking nothing for granted.

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Lady J, You are (registered for) an Ironman!

266 days to figure out why the hell I signed up for this business. Probably should know before I get to the starting line. This list should grow often.

1. I’m not disciplined enough to stay healthy without a goal that doesn’t terrify me. Two years ago, the idea of losing 10 pounds and doing a 5k did the trick. Clearly I’ve had to up the meds.

2. I’m not promised anything in the future. I’ve got my health right now. May as well go big with it.

3. I’ve witnessed how it’s made other people around me stronger.

4. I get to grow with and toward some really amazing people.

5. Some annoying people will test me and that will help me become stronger as well.

6. I am curious to see how good of a swimmer, cyclist, and runner live in me. By following Coachie’s plan I will get to see all of those things.

7. I will have to ask for so much help. Anything that forces me to my knees is good for my proud ass.

8. I can eat a lot of food!

9. I am told I am stronger than I think.

10. It is highly likely that in 2016 my focus will change from becoming an Ironman to becoming an Ironmom. That’s pretty much the realest ish ever.

11. I am not usually a quitter.

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Re: All Y’all, Noise, and Music

2014 is not ending at all like I thought it would, and for the most part, this is a fabulous thing. Since Augusta, I’ve had to continue dealing with this humanity business of mine and the fact that I need a break. I had signed up for Miami Man and didn’t do it. I had signed up for the Reggae Marathon and am doing the 10k tomorrow instead. My brain and body (especially my foot) say these choices are prudent but it is still difficult not to feel like a quitter. I strive to be a woman of integrity and want my word to have meaning, so it hurts me when I’ve said I will do something and do not, even when it is for the best.

Meanwhile, I am fat (relative to my fighting weight) and happy as hell. I’ve realized that where I messed up was not in choosing not to do something I said I would but simply refusing to accept not understanding that peaks and valleys of training and racing are natural and healthy. I’ve said since I started working full time that the academic calendar suits me because of its clear seasons and it helps my brain. Why wouldn’t running and triathlon be similar for me?

Alas. January 1 is coming. And quickly.

While I look forward to being lean (I’m always mean) again, it means I’m going to have to listen to a lot more noise. The noise comes from y’all. Don’t get it twisted – y’all are making plenty of noise now, but I’m keeping my distance because I can, hence my fat happiness.

So – what does Oxford have to say about noise?

A sound, especially one that is loud or unpleasant or that causes disturbance.

Das right. It comes in the form of insecure statements PROBABLY not meant to take down anyone else and usually about one’s self, but it is most definitely unpleasant and causes disturbance. My least favorite noise comes as unsolicited advice; I have a Coachie for a reason, I’m on it.

I’ll give y’all this, though – some of you aren’t making noise, but music. My favorite definition of music was given to me by one of my college professors: “Organized sound and silence.” We all have musical tastes and biases and what technically falls under this definition of music we can hear as noise. I am definitely guilty of this on occasion. Sometimes, one of you jokers is doing nothing but sharing and because of what’s going on inside of my head – my own doubts and fears, I hear noise and try to escape.

2014 has been a game changing year for me. I am finally starting to understand that excellence and imperfection must coexist. I have begun and hope to continue some amazing relationships. Finally, I have gotten better at assessing the difference between noise and music. And man, does this musician need music in her life – as encouraging words to inspire me to keep going and growing even when I think I can’t anymore. Even when I think everyone around me is so far ahead of me that I wonder how it’s possible that you respect me. Especially when I may behave like I resent you – but that’s just me making my own noise to attempt hiding my fear.

For now, I will put my feet up in this lounge chair and raise my glass (of water, there IS a race tomorrow) to all of you who have been music to my ears. I hope I have – and can – do the same for you!

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Thanksgiving, Day 6

1. Being a mixed kid. Not so much racially (though I do have some indigenous American and Indian up in there), but culturally. I think that experiencing both Black American and Jamaican cultures has helped me to be more open minded. Plus, two really legit Thanksgiving dinners.

2. Being the daughter of an immigrant. I come from awesome stock. Mommy came here after high school to make her life better, met my handsome dad and eventually had a really cute kid. Winning.

3. The academic calendar. I don’t think I can ever leave it. Lack of respect for educators notwithstanding, this girl needs an offseason. It helps me be stronger for the babies!

4. This boring ass elliptical. As I battle plantar fasciitis, it won’t allow me to be completely immobile.

5. The ability to blog while I’m on the boring ass elliptical.

6. The fact that my sport is so musical! I love the rhythm of my strokes, revolutions, and steps. It truly is beautiful!

7. Water. For drinkin’ and swimmin’.

8. Brooks. The running shoe people. My feet didn’t know love until they met the Glycerin and Adrenaline lines of shoes.

9. The fact that my mother is a runner. It is humbling that as she watched my love for running grow, she wanted to see what all the hype was. Now she curses the treadmill like I do! #roadrunners

10. Spin class with my evil Coachie. Fact: if you go to a legit spin class it will help your cycling.

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It’s good to be b(l)ack.

I accidentally rode my bike yesterday.

What had happened was that I get this text from Coachie. Apparently there’s this chick that rides about my pace and needed a buddy. The “opportunity” to ride didn’t conflict with my going to church, so I figured what the hell. I’m not a jerk. I’ll show up.

Then I remembered that I can’t stand riding my bike. Worse yet, I can’t stand riding with people. This is not a joke, y’all. I’m not going to write again (at the moment) about the reasons why this is the case but I was reminded of them yesterday. Praise God that I am not a fan of conflict and work to practice the principle of being at peace with others when it’s under my control.

In the end, of course, I am glad that I went. I hadn’t spent time with Red Rocket since my last race two months ago – unwise because she still scares me a bit and the more time and distance that I allow between us, the worse our relationship becomes.

It’s really funny how sometimes, just a bit of time is all it takes to improve a relationship. The time spent doesn’t have to be perfect, but consistent. My girl 3M has observed that I have not published a blog post in over a month, though I have been training (fairly) regularly. It’s definitely not that I haven’t had anything to say, but the more time that I allowed to elapse between posts, the less I wanted to do it. Not unlike my relationship with Red Rocket, if I am not regularly spending time with her, it starts to get awkward and I can’t remember why I do it in the first place.

So – to sum things up for the last month, God is still awesome, Coachie rocks for getting me back on my bike, 3M is a big deal for staying on me about my writing, and I have a feeling that this new chick isn’t bad. High praise from me, indeed.

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