Welp. I finished the clean eating challenge.
Down 9 pounds
Down 5 inches
Down 3% body fat
I find eating in this manner sustainable, even when I’m not working regular hours. Idle hands are a fatty’s workshop.
I still dislike my body.
The fact that I still feel ugly.
I am upset with myself that my brain is the hardest part to change. I feel that the real challenge is learning to love myself, regardless of where I am physically. I suppose I should stop ignoring Blonde Oprah’s admonitions to think positively. I always read through the positivity crap she writes and think to myself, “Whatever. What am I ACTUALLY supposed to do?” What if that way of thinking is a means to lose more weight? What if viewing myself positively is correct because I’m fearfully and wonderfully made and not simply a means to an end?
My biggest takeaway is that it is much easier to eat well than it is to be well. I am strongly considering starting some foolishness where I affirm myself each morning when I start my new workout plan Monday. Self-loathing will always weigh more than fat.