I do it, and I do it big. Here's to not forgetting about it.

Posts tagged ‘engaged’

The Setup 

3 days from now, I’m going to be a wife. Pretty big stuff. Adonis’s presence in my life has been a wonderful thing in more ways than I feel like counting right now. One of the things I’ve been reminded of since becoming engaged is just how much love I have in my life – from family, friends, and colleagues. I always have understood that I have been blessed with a lot of love but it seems to be coming out of the woodwork. I’m unsure whether people are behaving differently because these are just the things people do for future wives or perhaps I am simply noticing more things because Adonis has enabled me to be more receptive to love. I have a feeling it is a combination of the two. 

The love and wisdom I have received from  my friends is something I hope I will keep close to me as life continues. However, I have noticed a trending sentiment that disturbs me –

It’s all about you. It’s your day. 

I find the second part of the thought a bit less troubling in a certain context – ensuring that my voice is heard and my wishes expressed amongst a family of REALLY strong personalities can be challenging. I do believe it’s “my day” when it comes to things that don’t matter in the long run, like food and music. The wedding trappings. 

All about me, though? My protest, in part, is because I like celebrating myself. If today is all about me, does that mean other days can’t be about me? I get to a March 12, 2016 and from then on it’s about anyone and everyone else? That’s a bummer. I simply refuse to peak on my wedding day. It’s gonna be big and it may be the best day of my life thus far, but if it goes wedding day —> mortgage —> get fat —> kids —> death AND I don’t get to be a star anymore? I ain’t signed nothin yet! 

The above-mentioned trajectory minus the fat, however, is something that I embrace. I would never have been in a place to embrace it if it weren’t for everyone else. Beginning with my parents on the first day of my life, to my music teachers, to my friends and relatives, and eventually my students – my life has been touched by so many amazing people that have helped me to take my bravest step yet. I wouldn’t be Lady J without them. 

It does make me happy to celebrate our wedding. For sure. I will never forget sitting at my bachelorette party amongst 30 women – how could I have the audacity to say that anything is all about me? There was so much love at that table. If anything, I am pleased that I’ve provided an excuse for people to come out of their holes and love each other. I wish that life weren’t so busy that it has to take life-changing events to get people to show up sometimes. I am thankful that I have my friends, but I am also thankful that my friends have each other. 

I do not want to be setup to believe that anything can be just about me. That can’t be a good recipe for being a good wife, daughter, or friend. I sincerely hope I have been a loving bride-to-be, not consumed by all that is happening. Though it will look different, I believe I have been blessed with the type of friends who will be excited, present, and loving on March 13 and after, just like I will be for them. 

  

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The Big Picture: Race Report, Part II

You should know before continuing that I’m getting married. All right, back to racing. 

I wrote in my previous post that I was quite miserable as I was racing. Along the course, I was whining to the man who had not been my fiancé for 24 hours yet about how I wanted it to be over. He was being sickeningly positive. “I think we’re doing really well!” “We’re getting closer with every step!” You know. Annoying crap like that. I was completely absorbed in my own self-pity as I lambasted myself for not being stronger and faster.

Somewhere along the way – like, damn near the end, I remembered that I wasn’t alone. Seriously, guys. I’m…not…alone. I was overcome with guilt for not being more encouraging to the man who says he wants to grow with me and spend the rest of his life with me. It was his first race! I thought about how I would feel if I were running my first race and someone were alongside me, complaining about how much better he should be doing as I was working my hardest. I would be so sad if someone were to have flooded a day still so special to me with negative energy. 

Whoops. 

As soon as I realized what I was doing, I apologized. In apologizing, I not only corrected my attitude toward the day but also was able to see how much I accomplished by crossing the finish line. He, of course, graciously forgave me. That’s what good-looking fiancés do, I suppose. He actually wants to race with me again! 

There’s probably a life lesson somewhere in here aside from “sign up for more races.” I’ll keep you posted. Heh. See what I did there? 



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