I do it, and I do it big. Here's to not forgetting about it.

Posts tagged ‘bachelorette’

One to Remember, One to Forget: Race ReportĀ 

As soon as I got engaged, I knew that a race would be involved in my wedding celebrations in one way or another. So far, this bridal business has been much like real life – I’m just a girl who loves to run and spend time with her loved ones and am happiest when I can combine them. 

I pride myself in having a diverse set of friends, in that some of them do not run. šŸ˜Ž I must admit that while I enjoy walking, it feels weird to completely walk a race that is not for some sort of cause. I decided that bonding was a good enough cause but in order to have the best of both worlds I registered for a 10k to run and a 5k to walk. I had figured I would run the 10k by myself so I wouldn’t slow anyone down who feels similarly. 

I arrived at the start line and saw Social. 

Social is this cool chick whom I know via Blonde Oprah. We’ve done all the important things that women do together – running, triathlon, Starbucks – it’s pretty solid. She plays it pretty close to the vest – enough to the point where I feel like I am the extroverted one when we are together. Wanting to respect Social’s wishes, I told her what my approximate pace was going to be and told her she did not have to be Social. She said she hadn’t been running lately so it would be good.

With that, we were off. Aside from my asking her one more time if she wanted to lose me, we didn’t talk too much except to observe random awesomeness along the course, like a guy who outran us though he had sandals, a cane, and a skirt. 

I am unsure that Social knows how much I appreciated her next to me. I am convinced I must spend most of my waking hours pretending that the presence of others doesn’t make things any easier. I did much better than I expected to do that day. Had I been running by myself, I am sure my pace would have been slower. I can’t be a punk with Social by my side. 

Hopefully I’ll remember not to forget…

   
PS: 3132 was my 70.3 bib number! It had to be a great day! 

The SetupĀ 

3 days from now, I’m going to be a wife. Pretty big stuff. Adonis’s presence in my life has been a wonderful thing in more ways than I feel like counting right now. One of the things I’ve been reminded of since becoming engaged is just how much love I have in my life – from family, friends, and colleagues. I always have understood that I have been blessed with a lot of love but it seems to be coming out of the woodwork. I’m unsure whether people are behaving differently because these are just the things people do for future wives or perhaps I am simply noticing more things because Adonis has enabled me to be more receptive to love. I have a feeling it is a combination of the two. 

The love and wisdom I have received from  my friends is something I hope I will keep close to me as life continues. However, I have noticed a trending sentiment that disturbs me –

It’s all about you. It’s your day. 

I find the second part of the thought a bit less troubling in a certain context – ensuring that my voice is heard and my wishes expressed amongst a family of REALLY strong personalities can be challenging. I do believe it’s “my day” when it comes to things that don’t matter in the long run, like food and music. The wedding trappings. 

All about me, though? My protest, in part, is because I like celebrating myself. If today is all about me, does that mean other days can’t be about me? I get to a March 12, 2016 and from then on it’s about anyone and everyone else? That’s a bummer. I simply refuse to peak on my wedding day. It’s gonna be big and it may be the best day of my life thus far, but if it goes wedding day —> mortgage —> get fat —> kids —> death AND I don’t get to be a star anymore? I ain’t signed nothin yet! 

The above-mentioned trajectory minus the fat, however, is something that I embrace. I would never have been in a place to embrace it if it weren’t for everyone else. Beginning with my parents on the first day of my life, to my music teachers, to my friends and relatives, and eventually my students – my life has been touched by so many amazing people that have helped me to take my bravest step yet. I wouldn’t be Lady J without them. 

It does make me happy to celebrate our wedding. For sure. I will never forget sitting at my bachelorette party amongst 30 women – how could I have the audacity to say that anything is all about me? There was so much love at that table. If anything, I am pleased that I’ve provided an excuse for people to come out of their holes and love each other. I wish that life weren’t so busy that it has to take life-changing events to get people to show up sometimes. I am thankful that I have my friends, but I am also thankful that my friends have each other. 

I do not want to be setup to believe that anything can be just about me. That can’t be a good recipe for being a good wife, daughter, or friend. I sincerely hope I have been a loving bride-to-be, not consumed by all that is happening. Though it will look different, I believe I have been blessed with the type of friends who will be excited, present, and loving on March 13 and after, just like I will be for them. 

  

The Confession of ConfessionsĀ 

  
My God, I am needy. 

I’ve spent 30 years trying to deny it, but now that I am engaged, the jig is officially up. What is a wedding if not a public admission of lack of self-sufficiency? Blah blah love blah blah family blah blah big ass party. Don’t get it twisted – I could not be happier to profess my neediness before the Lord and forever intertwine my life with that of Adonis. I would be remiss, however, if I did not reflect upon that which has helped me arrive here. 

I must admit that this denial of being needy has been rooted in fear. If I truly need something, will I be able to get it? Let’s pretend that the need doesn’t exist! Do I really need to elaborate upon all that I have needed from my parents? I am blessed to witness their stable, loving relationship. They’ve demonstrated their love for Christ and shared Him with me. They gave me music lessons! Learning to play this beautiful music has brought not only joy but wonderful teachers, colleagues, and now students into my life to shape me into the woman I am. The discipline I’ve gleaned as a musician has helped me commit to running and fitness, which has brought another amazing cohort of people into my world.
I am confident that March 12 will be the best day of my life to date because it will be the day that I am finally celebrating my neediness. It is this need that has helped me the strong person I need to be in order to risk being permanently vulnerable. No celebration can be recognized as such, however, without the pregame. Apparently, this is to come in the form of a bachelorette party, says society. 

If you know me well, you know that I am a long-range planner. I picked my bachelorette weekend six months ago. “Why am I just hearing about it?” You asked that at JUST the right time. Inviting people to something like this means I need you, and that still makes me uncomfortable. I have needed amazing girlfriends all of my life, and I will continue to need them after I am Mrs. Lady J. I don’t just want to celebrate getting married. I want to celebrate with the wonderful women who have helped me become who I am. I want to celebrate the life God has given me and the people He has given to me. I want to be the best friend I can be because I’ve been given such wonderful friends. I need you to run or walk beside me, just as you have been doing, whether it’s been for 20 years or 20 months. 

I need you. 

Tag Cloud