I’m a big baby.
This has dawned on me as I have been reflecting on the differences between this year and last year. On average, between January and May of 2014, I was racing every other weekend. Looking back, I suppose it was logistically tiring, but it was very exciting. Coachie told me throughout the year that while it may be fun to live that way, it makes it more difficult to plan a training schedule. I dutifully declined opportunities to race that had made me so happy previously. Between January and March of this year, I participated in exactly 2 races. Yawn.
Which is exactly how I’ve been feeling about my training.
When I was in graduate school for music education, I learned about the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. As we get older, intrinsic awards are supposed to mean more to us; for instance, a first grader will be more enthused about receiving a sticker for doing the right thing, but a high schooler will realize that the real reward for doing the right thing is invaluable. Finish lines are the new stickers, y’all. Seeing my physical progress, seeing the results on my Garmin – nope. Not feeling it.
The payoff is coming, they tell me. They being the government, of course. But I want it sooner. I want to be comfortable in my skin, I want to giggle on Saturday morning races whether I PR or not. Dammit, I still need stickers.