Being honest is difficult for me.
Perhaps it’s because I equate honesty with openness, but I think real honesty makes people uncomfortable. When the Facebook page for this 21 day challenge opened, I had something I immediately wanted to share but I stopped myself.
“Are we allowed to tell the truth?”
I feel that if I were to really say what I am thinking much of the time, the response would be either silence or empty platitudes. It happens every time that I am feeling anything but totally happy – I publish a post and it gets relatively little attention compared to my more triumphant ones, so to speak. This only reinforces my belief that people really aren’t to be trusted unless I am at my best. Why is this the case?
Perhaps it is because weakness makes people very uncomfortable. To see it in a person you may view as strong (not me, clearly) could cause you to question your own strength. Nobody enjoys dwelling on their imperfections, me more than anyone. It’s why going to the gym or reading the Bible can be so disconcerting – you are faced with dealing with where you are, and it may be extremely unpleasant.
If I am honest with myself, there are times I train – physically and spiritually – and I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much. I read the posts about Daily Wins and I think – “Welp. I’m still fat. Glad you’re feeling good though!” I have nothing but the faith that what I was doing before wasn’t working and this is something that will bring me closer to where I need to be.
I would rather be honest with myself – and likely by myself – than pretend I’ve got it all together just to put others at ease. Hopefully there’s a pay off in all of this.