I do it, and I do it big. Here's to not forgetting about it.

See Joan Trust!

I’ve spoken what I feel is extensively on my issues with trusting people enough to be vulnerable around them, but for a quick wrap-up on my feelings regarding training with others, here you go. I hate when people see how imperfect I am. Shows you that I’m not too bright because even the babies at work know their music teacher is far from perfect. “You can’t find your phone/marker/microphone/pen AGAIN?” They love me anyway. But I digress, most likely without having applied that lesson here…

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you may have gathered that I’m a pretty genuine person. I strive to be a woman of integrity and dishonesty makes me extremely uncomfortable. I also am a fairly busy person (though I don’t say that to show off! More on that later too!) who carefully plans her days to maximize productivity. My charm lends itself to frequent invites for company, which, alas, I “must” turn down because I have plans. How sad must that make this introvert! 😉 Tee hee.

What I’m saying here is that when I make plans with people, I’ve got to trust you with me, essentially. But the trust required to train with someone else is more than a simple social trust that you won’t be an asshole anything less than a complete delight. I’ve got to trust that when you see me as a work in progress, you won’t belittle me. As performance oriented as I am, that’s a huge leap for me. It’s the equivalent of allowing someone to watch me practice my Chopin before my recital. Ridiculous.

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I was ridiculous today. With Three. Other. People.

OMG I had so much fun! We were like, riding our bikes and the weather was so beautiful and I was talking and catching up with friends and getting to know them better and butterflies and rainbows and uni…

You get it. Now, for the part that really rocked my world –

I ran my fastest mile today.

I’m pretty sure there’s something to be learned from today’s experience but I wouldn’t bet money on it.

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Comments on: "See Joan Trust!" (2)

  1. Since you read my blog you can tell I am pretty open and free with my weaker side … in writing … I am not so much like that in person, so I feel what you are writing here. I tend to not want people to see my weaknesses in person. I don’t mind writing about them though, and I am also very careful about who I train with for that reason. I don’t mind being with people who are better, faster, stronger than I am … as long as I am not belittled for it.

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